


They'll get used to it

by kolejnyczlowiek



Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, No Romance, Sakura-centric, mentions of blood and death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7088239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolejnyczlowiek/pseuds/kolejnyczlowiek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura’s dealing with her trauma after the war - being medic is an awful job when you can’t do anything but watch people die. / Takes place just after 699th chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They'll get used to it

By now, Sakura is used to waking up in the middle of the night, breathing heavily, her body covered by sweat and tears gluing hair to her face. Towel beneath her is damp along with her pants - she’s used to wetting herself now as well.

So without a word, she gets up and decides to clean herself and the mess she’s made. She’s feeling tired so she sighs but doesn’t complain. And when all is done, and there’s no trace of another night - Sakura’s so used to - on her skin or in her room, she stands in front of the bed – her mind blank after the sleep. She doesn’t come back to bed but instead lets her back lean against the wall and slowly slides down on the cold, wooden floor. She’s used to resting there too, until the sun rises and dim light reaches girl’s body, announcing beginning of the new day – new day Sakura’s used to because to her they’re all the same.

She gets up slowly, afraid she may fall.

Clothes she wears hide her too thin body but she looks nice enough to not raise suspicions. She puts makeup on her face to hide bags under her eyes and cheeks red from crying. People don’t say she looks better without it anymore – she’s used to wearing makeup but made sure they are used to it too.

* * *

 

‘Today’s a good day’ she thinks, when another patient offers her words of gratitude. She manages to heal quite a few people today, no one dies or has any major problems. Her shift’s getting to an end so she prepares to leave. Finally she feels something close to happiness and she can’t wait to tell her friends how well she is. 

Until a nurse barges into her office, clearly shaken, and begs her to come to the operation room. Sakura doesn’t think and follows her, her hands glowing with green chakra before she even sees the patient. Once inside, she doesn’t ask but evaluates the situation and begins working.

Couple of hours later she stands next to the dead body. She looks at her small and pale hands, now covered in stranger’s blood, just like her coat, hair and clothes – she doesn’t panic for she’s used to blood. She turns on her heel and leaves the operating room.

Sakura doesn’t wash away the blood. It is sign of her failure and she believes world has the right to know. 

Sakura comes back home and doesn’t go out for another week.

* * *

 

Her team comes and asks for explanation and she answers like she’s used to – she smiles, says she’s tired and needs some days off. They question the blood, her look, towel in bed and medicine on her nightstand – some of them out loud, some of them know better than to pry. She minds of course but for the nth time she promises to talk about it later – she never does, but they’re used to it.

On the next mission she takes all kinds of pills to keep her asleep. She has her own tent in case the drugs won’t work – none of them is suspicious, she’s the only girl in the team so she deserves some privacy. 

She thinks about talking with boys about it and her first choice in Naruto, naturally. He’s good listener but she doubts he will understand. Of course he’s lost those precious to him. But seeing people dying right in front of you, when your job is to heal, in numbers she can’t describe – that’s something different and she doesn’t expect Naruto to completely understand.

Kakashi is the same case. Although he’s older and more experienced than Naruto. He’ll try to cheer her up or say something smart that’s supposed to help her. She appreciates it but that’s not quite it. 

Sai’s next and her choice is almost perfect. Sai would understand her. He seems to know about feelings more than others. But his knowledge comes from books and that’s not what she’s looking for. 

Last is Sasuke and she gives up instantly. He would understand her perfectly, having seen his whole clan slaughtered in front of him. But she doesn’t want to bring those memories back. Besides, Sasuke’s not a medic, death of his family is not his fault, unlike deaths of those soldiers Sakura’s been supposed to save. Sasuke still wouldn’t fully understand, she excuses herself.

Sakura continues her mission, forgetting completely about talking to her team.

* * *

 

She wakes up in her tent like she’s used to always wake up in her own bed. She can be only grateful it’s the last nigh of their mission and tomorrow she won’t have to hide. That is until she sees dark eyes watching her carefully, brows furrowed and mouth agape, unsure what to say. But Sakura, being who she is and not giving up easily, smiles softly, assuring she’s been having bad dream but once she’s home, she’ll feel better.

Sasuke nods his head, but she knows he doesn’t buy it. He asks for something for headache and she pulls out the pills from her bag. His brows furrow even more when he sees the amount of medicine she’s carrying but says nothing again.

When he leaves, Sakura falls asleep this time, tired from the encounter.

But Sasuke is awake, and he knows it’s not the headache.

He’s been used to waking up in the middle of the night like she does. Smell of sweat and salty taste of the tears are very familiar to him. He’s no stranger to the same fear and terror that’s in her eyes. He’s no stranger to the pained and tired expression that she sees in a mirror after long night and tries so hard to cover with makeup in the morning. He’s no stranger to the feeling of being useless, of being unable to prevent whatever horrid thing she’s dreaming of.

He’s no stranger to Sakura who pretends it’s alright.

* * *

 

When she wakes up, first night in her own bed after the mission, she can’t help the feeling that it’s not something she’s used to and she quickly learns why.

She’s not used to wake up with extra weight on her bed and familiar hand reaching out to hold cold towel to her head. She’s not used to her tears being wiped and long fingers brushing hair away from her face. She’s not used to the smell of warm tea on her nightstand and fresh air coming through the window. She’s not used to the strong arms taking her in the embrace and low voice whispering soothing words in her ear. She’s not used to fisting soft shirt and soaking it with her bitter tears. She’s not used to wailing loudly about another nightmare of dead bodies she’s left on the battlefield. She’s not used to being freed from all of her negative emotions that were consuming her since the war.

Sakura’s not used to this side of Sasuke and neither is he but they’ll get used to it.


End file.
